bernieh

RIGHT so here's what's going on

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 01:59:55 GMT

RIGHT so here's what's going on. It's simple really, and pretty much goes without saying: there's just been no time for me to focus on making aLp. Believe me, I've been trying to make some time, figuring I could at least crank out a new comic here and there for the sake of updating. That's why I go so long without even an explanation - cuz I keep thinking I'm gonna update on a given week... but then that week flies by, and then the next, then the next, and suddenly it's been months without a peep and then some of you guys start spreading rumors that I've died.

So it's weird and backwards but basically I disappear for so long cuz I AM thinking about making new comics, not because I'm not. I just don't wanna keep giving you empty promises, so I just end up sayin' zip. The big problem is I'm shit at planning out what I'm gonna be able to accomplish in a given time period; it's hard for me to give y'all meaningful info when I don't even have it myself.

Anyway, I know what to say right now. I'm still gonna be too busy for the next few months to do new comics regularly, but I WILL try to do SOME. I'm just not gonna give you any false hope of some crazy renaissance from me in the near future. aLp continues to live on, sporadically. Hook yourself up to my Twitter, Facebook page, RSS, and email list, and you'll get any new comics and blog updates from me, honest injun! That's racist.

For what it's worth, I do have a good reason to stay in the comics game, at the very least. The big (secret, ooh) thing that's keeping me so flippin busy is indeed comics-related. You'll hear all about it within the next few months. So, there's that.

As always, THANK YOU, godammit, THANK YOU for caring. It's EASY to have loyal fans when you're Jeph Fuckin' Jacques and you know, you update every day with awesome comics and live-streamed drawing sessions... but when you post 3 comics a year and disappear for months at a time like me, and still have fans as dedicated as you guys? That's... that's weird, you guys should get some help.

aLp 347: New York Movie Map

Thu, 05 May 2011 17:29:59 GMT

(Click the image above for the high-res version)
(Order this poster from Topatoco!)

If it seems like all the movies you've ever seen take place somewhere in New York City, that's because they do. New York is where the aliens must attack, where landmarks are destroyed, where the world ends, and where good-looking people go to find other good-looking people. It's practically a law.

This is an illustrated 18"x24" map of the history of films set in New York - more specifically, all the movies I could cram into a tiny 12-square-mile chunk of Manhattan. There's exactly 91 movies on here. Can you name them all?

I'll be giving away a FREE copy of this poster to the first person who sends me the names of all the movies, numbered 1-91. AND also winning free posters will be 3 randomly selected people from the rest of the correct lists sent to me within this first week, before next Wednesday, May 11. Here's a high-res version of the map with each movie numbered from 1-91.

After a week I'll release the full list here; follow me on Twitter to make sure you catch it.

This took about 5 months of researching and watching a ton of old movies, and about 3 weeks of drawing. The best movies I watched included The Warriors (on the map), Escape from New York (on), and an old one called A Thousand Clowns (not on). The worst movie I watched was Sex and the City, holy goddamn. A big thanks to the sites On the Set of New York, The Worldwide Guide to Movie Locations, TV Tropes, and Scouting New York for their awesome info, and to my buddies Dean, Stu and Noah for their advice.

I'LL BE AT TCAF IN TORONTO THIS WEEKEND! Sitting with the rest of the Topatoco crew. Hopefully I'll have copies of the poster on hand for you! See you there, ok yes?!

So yeah, this is one of the things I've been doing since November instead of working on aLp. It hasn't kept me from doing comics per se, but it sure didn't help. I got this idea back in December and just felt like I needed to do it. Now that it's out of the way I think I can get back on the comics horse, but yeah we'll just see about that, won't we. In any case the best ways for me to keep you updated are if you follow me on that Twitter, join that aLp Facebook page, or get up on that RSS feed.

aLp 346: You Weren't Supposed to See This

Thu, 25 Nov 2010 00:51:15 GMT

This is officially the longest I've ever spent on the artwork for a single episode, ever in the history of ever.

For the record, it's Abe that enjoys videos of skateboarders crashing groin-first into poles - not me. Here are two of his favorites: OUCH, NNGGHH

You might have noticed I finally added links below to the comic to the merchandise I have for sale on Topatoco... please consider buying; I could use the support! I also have this special offer where if you order a shirt and send me your receipt, I'll send you a free fridge magnet! WOTTA DEAL! Keep in mind, if you're gonna be ordering for holiday gifts, Topatoco has these ordering deadlines.

Thanks and HAPPY TURKEYSGIVING!!

aLp 345: Speed Dating 20

Thu, 25 Nov 2010 00:35:59 GMT

Speed Dating break! I'm off to Webcomics Weekend so gotta keep this short.

First of all, obviously, you'll notice something different about this Speed Dating strip... that's Erin, who was the first to answer this general casting call I put up a few months ago. Erin stars in this YouTube film "Jedi Girl", directed by her friend and aLp fan, Charley Brown. Check it out (disclaimer: I haven't watched it myself yet but it looks fun)!

After you get over the initial shock over the change, let me know in the comments if you like the idea of human Speed Dating dates for Abe, or not. KEEP IN MIND that for Erin and all other humans I may use in aLp, BE NICE.

p.s. In terms of the casting call, I'm only accepting females for Speed Dating at this time - other casting would be too much of a hassle right now. If you think it'd be cool to see yourself or your friend or your sister in a Speed Dating strip, drop me a line! Thanks!

aLp 344: You Can Call Me Gore

Fri, 22 Oct 2010 20:06:13 GMT

Holy hell this one took years off of my life to do. Sorry about the delay; I got the next one written actually so hopefully you'll be seeing it next week. Fingers crossed

Did Al Gore claim that he "invented the internet"?

Reminder! I'm gonna be at Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, MA, on November 6-7, along with every one of your favorite webcomic artists. Literally. Get your tickets fast before it's too late, and I'll see you there, all right!

aLp 343: Living Museum

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 23:42:03 GMT

Edit: If you're completely lost at the last panel, here. I just LOOOOOVE explaining jokes!

Hey guys! Another comic that took me forever to do! I dunno if you've ever tried rendering a happy, believable squirrel in high-res, but it's pretty time-consuming.

Quick reminder to please consider ordering my latest print, Abe at the Dentist. As nice as it looks on the screen, it looks TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL as a huge 17"x11" print. Thanks!!

Lastly I'm gonna be at Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, MA, on November 6-7, along with every one of your favorite webcomic artists. Literally. Get your tickets fast before it's too late, and I'll see you there, all right!

aLp 342: Abe at the Dentist

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:16:37 GMT

Interlude!

Here's a new print I made that will be available to order from TopatoCo soon! I'll also have it at SPX next weekend.

That's right, remember, I'll be lounging around at the TopatoCo table at SPX in Bethesda, MD, next weekend (Sep. 11 & 12). I'll have the new print, the If You See Something print, and some t-shirts for sale. Hope to see you there!

AND also, again, the weekend after that (Sep. 18 & 19) I'll be at Wild Pig Con in Springfield, NJ... this one's hosted by a local shop that's having a huge 50%-off sale on their comic books, so if you're a comic book fan you won't wanna miss it.

I know it seems this site's come off the rails a bit but I'm still here and more new comics are coming real soon. Promise!

Oh yeah, and I know I owe you that "alternate punchline" for the last comic. That's coming too. Blurg

aLp 341: Libraryin'

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:55:35 GMT

Hi! Here I am. As I said in my various blog updates, it's been a stupid-hectic time for me over the past month. Elaine left me alone with the kids for 10 days and went to Jordan. That's a country, FYI, and not another dude. Then I had to plan my folks' dual 70th birthday party, which was a bit stressful, but it did end up going great, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM AND DAD!! All along (and now still) I've been racing against a big deadline at work... so basically taking these past few weeks to focus on all that was definitely necessary. Thanks for your patience...

(In case you missed it, the morning this happened - Rocket Hits Resort on Border of Jordan and Israel - I got a text from Elaine's sister saying that everyone was fine over there, and so I didn't think twice about it. It was only when Elaine got home that she told me not only was she in Aqaba when it happened... she was at that particular "Resort". A cab driver out front was killed, but otherwise Elaine and her family were fine. It's probably a good thing she didn't tell me 'til she got home)

SO with this episode I thought I'd change things up a bit. I've actually been thinking about playing around with my layouts for a while, and I thought it'd be a good time to try it, coming out of my break. Hope you dig it. Looking at it now I see a lot that I shoulda/coulda done better, but I'll chalk it up to learning on the job; otherwise I kinda like it. Lemme know what you think!

You'll notice I also changed the font. I like it better. I didn't give much thought to the font I'd been using since I started aLp back in 2004, beyond, "it kinda looks like Berke Breathed's lettering in Bloom County". Rock solid reasoning aside, I think I finally realized it wasn't the easiest font in the world to read. Hope you like this change too.

Oh yeah and something else I wasn't exactly sure about was the punchline. Twat me on Twitter or Fan me on Facebook to see my alternate punchline for today's ep coming later today.

Last thing: I wanna give a holler to Scenes from a Multiverse, Jon Rosenberg's new daily sci-fi/geek/hilarious comic. Jon's a swell super guy and I'm loving SFAM so far. Check it out!

aLp 340: Future Shock

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:53:02 GMT

Imagine allll the people... sharinggg all the girls

GEEZ LOUISE this took forever to do. It's probably the episode that's taken the longest for me to finish, like, ever. Congratulations to me, still raising the bar for eating up all my time and being late. Good ol' Bill Clinton's fun to write - Abe may be horny and a bit kinky, but Bill's just a hardcore sleazebag - but man is he tough to render. He didn't show up for our scheduled shoot this week, so I had to settle for random footage of him I found on the internet!

I'm not gonna have time to do up a proper Predators review, but here's my quick impressions. Unfortunately, I thought it was pretty lame. In a nutshell, it felt like a lesser director re-made Predator, basically. There wasn't anything new. Execution aside, at least all the other A/P/AvP movies tried to bring something new to the table - underwater Aliens! Predator Takes Manhattan! I get that they were trying to go retro with this, but they went too far and just made a lame version of Predator.

I don't wanna bum you out or stop you from seeing it; obviously there's plenty of people and critics who liked it. In a complete vaccuum I would've probably liked it too. But when everyone in the world already knows what a Predator looks like and what it does, it's understandably hard to make a new movie where the characters spend half the time wondering what they're up against. Say what you want about AvP and AvP:R, but at least they were chock full of fun moments.

So what'd you think?

aLp 339: Predsploitation

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 21:12:24 GMT

Late again, jiggity jig! Power outage on my block; my kids' 5th birthday; Toy Story 3. That's all I have to say about that!

Back to the storyline next week, but for this week:

Hey, PREDATORS! AM I RIGHT?

When I first heard they were making this movie, I wrote: "Honestly I’m not sure we need more movies about (I’m guessing) Predators, but I won’t be complaining, as long as it’s actually half-decent." That's still the way I feel, and whoa, it looks like it might actually be half-decent, at least according to the reviews. So even though I waited for both AvP's 1 and 2 to come out on video before I saw 'em, I'll be catching Predators tomorrow when it opens.

What about you guys? Are you pumped, or are you PUMPED? (Third option: are you not pumped?)

aLp 338: Rebirth of Slick

Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:22:08 GMT

Home again, home again, jiggity jig or whatever that means!!!

GRRAARGH is probably how you all feel too, since I took last week off and with today's update it's still not clear where (when) the hell we are (or is it). Lemme say this about the current storyline if you haven't heard me say it before... I KNOW IT'S TAKING FOREVER AND I'M SORRY. I wrote a few more words about this and put it in a blog post here.

Anyway I was on vacation with my beautiful wife and kids all last week and it was epic. Still catching up with things but my batteries are recharged and all that. See you next week.

aLp 337: What Year Do You Have

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 20:29:49 GMT

A day late, and I don't know if any of this makes any sense! Anyway, here!

aLp 336: Cash Cab Time Machine 2

Wed, 09 Jun 2010 20:15:53 GMT

So yeah, Cash Cab... it's a fun little show on the Discovery Channel that I love because it's set in NYC, and the questions, host, and atmosphere are all nice and breezy. Also, I happen to know at least 7 people (that I'm aware of) who've been on it. Below, my pals Dave and Jen kick some ass:

I guess you wouldn't be surprised to hear that I'm nerdy enough to also be a semi-regular at a trivia night - though I'm not actually that good, I swear - and our team calls itself Cash Cab for Cutie. So add that all up and yeah, I've been waiting for a while now to do these comics.

Lastly, about George Carlin... the man was my hero. Watch his classic 7 Dirty Words bit again, if you haven't in a while.

aLp 335: Cash Cab Time Machine

Thu, 03 Jun 2010 14:19:35 GMT

Unfortunately I don't have time to write much right now - I've got a date on the planet Pandora tonight (and believe it or not I'm not talking about Avatar, hmmm) - but here's this week's comic! Enjoy.

Thanks to Shari for getting me the Cash Cab footage I needed so quickly, and to my Wasteland Wednesday crew for helping me work out the punchline.

aLp 334: Let's Do This

Thu, 27 May 2010 00:33:31 GMT

CASH CAB

More on that next week when we get our trivia / time-travelin' on.

In case you missed it, I posted this Casting Call last week. Since I actually don't have a whole lot of time to be re-mastering a whole bunch of episodes - believe it or not - I think I'm mostly looking for girls who want to sit across from Abe on Speed Dates. But I'd still like to hear from all interested parties for all parts listed! Come one, come all! Unless you're scary.

aLp 333: Biting the Bullet

Wed, 19 May 2010 19:49:04 GMT

Bong water is classified as an illegal, controlled substance in Minnesota, so... be sure to drink up!

I was at a little show over the weekend called Wild Pig Con in Springfield, NJ, and I had the pleasure of hanging out with some great people, including the folks that own the comic shop that lends its name to the show. Got to hang out with the ever-lovin' Danielle Corsetto and meet her fella Chris, who seems to be a swell guy! I owe Danielle 10 bucks, which she'll get only if she can catch me.

Also got to meet Randy Milhollhand of S*P, who went and did a sketch of Ma for me and you (left). Good guy! Yeah, for real. There was also Jason, Joe and Phil, Ami, Claire, Brian, David, David and Steve, Gary, Bill, Jamie, Ross, and Dern... all good peoples.

I thought that I'd try to get a second 3-paneler up for you on Friday to make up for last week, but who am I kidding, right? Still picking my battles in the constant war against my schedule. If lightning strikes I'll do a new comic for Friday; otherwise next week. I do have a new blog post coming soon so look out for that.

Love you all.

aLp 332: Happy Smothers Day

Thu, 06 May 2010 00:48:35 GMT

DEFENESTRATED

Not only the best word ever, but also the best superhero power ever.

Hey, it's Ma and Theo. What?

Fwiw, I'd written Ma into the story months ago, and it's just a coincidence that she's landing just in time for Mother's Day. I think that makes up for the fact that I was still doing Christmas-themed comics in January.

Lastly, remember:

Buy the new print!

Now available at TopatoCo!

More info at this blog post. Thanks!

aLp 331: Killing in the Name

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:44:38 GMT

Hello friends! Buy the new print!

Now available at TopatoCo!

More info at this blog post. Thanks!

If You See Something... Buy It

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 16:37:02 GMT

If You See Something... Buy It

Hey, that new print that I debuted at MoCCA is now available for you at TopatoCo!

Based on this fan favorite episode, completely re-shot in super high-res and starring a real girl human (the lovely/talented/extremely dangerous Carly Monardo), this beauty is a generous 11"x17", printed on super high quality paper and guys, it is gorgeous.

Suitable for framing, as Kristy demonstrates here! FYI the signature you see on her print isn't available if you order online; you'd have to find me in person for that (either at a con, or in my cardboard hut outside Port Authority).

Please support me and order yourself one today! A lot of you said you wanted one so don't make me track you down. Carly rode the G train for you guys.

Thanks!

Bonus: alternate punchline

Thu, 22 Apr 2010 17:43:52 GMT

Bonus: yesterday's strip with alternate last panel.

Original: http://alienlovespredator.com/?id=330

aLp 330: Speed Dating 19

Wed, 21 Apr 2010 22:17:35 GMT

Speed Dating break! Otherwise known as "filler"... but you guys seem to like these so we're cool I hope! The internet cut out on me at my office where my studio computer is so I couldn't do a "real" episode for this week. Static Speed Dating template to the rescue!

Also I was away for a looooong weekend at Elaine's little sister Sharon's wedding in Newport, RI (otherwise I woulda been at C2E2), and had a good ol' time. Now that Elaine's cousins are all 21+ these gatherings are crazy. The ring-bearer and flower girl at our wedding 11 years ago are now buying us rounds of shots and walking us home.

In case you missed it I posted the winners of the AvP video game giveaway a few days ago. I've already congratulated and heard back from the 5 winners so if this is the first time you're seeing this, you didn't win. :( But thanks for entering anyway! :) I hope Wordpress doesn't turn those into graphical smilies.

Pay attention to my Twitter and the aLp Facebook page for 2 new items of bonus content coming tonight and tomorrow, including an alternate punchline for today's comic, and a casting call.

aLp 329: It's About Time

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 01:27:13 GMT

Keeping this short for now!

MoCCA was great! Thanks to those of you who came out!

I'll announce the winners of that free AvP video game contest tomorrow (Thursday)!

Oh look, Justin Bieber's trending on Twitter! I wonder what people are saying about him!

aLp 328: Radical Option

Wed, 07 Apr 2010 22:39:33 GMT

Whew! This one took work.

I'm just gonna remind you of some exciting stuff I told you about last week:

1. I'll be at MoCCA Art Fest in NYC this weekend!

Come see me at the MoCCA Art Festival this weekend, April 10 & 11! I'll be sittin' with the Topatoco crew, along with some of the way coolest artists in webcomics, including Ryan (Dinosaur Comics), Jeph (Questionable Content), Andrew (MS Paint Adventures), Chris (Dr. McNinja), Kate (Hark! A Vagrant), and David (Wondermark)! I'll have t-shirts and magnets for sale, and I'll even be debuting some new prints (hopefully)! I don't get to do a lot of cons, which is a shame since I always love meeting you guys. So come say hi!

2. WIN A FREE COPY OF AVP!

I've got 5 copies of the Aliens vs. Predator video game to give away in a contest - your choice of console (PS3 or Xbox 360)! THE CONTEST ENDS THIS FRIDAY, and to tell ya the truth, if you enter, your chances to win would be pretty damn good. Enter now!

Good luck!

aLp 327: Speed Dating 18

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 20:32:38 GMT

SPEED DATING BREAK! I thought we could all use an interlude in the middle of all the exposition-heavy eps. The storyline returns next week; the next comic's already written so hopefully I can get on ahead of my schedule for once.

HEY, come see me at the MoCCA Art Festival next weekend, April 10 & 11! I'll be sittin' with the Topatoco crew, along with some of the way coolest artists in webcomics, including Ryan (Dinosaur Comics), Jeph (Questionable Content), Andrew (MS Paint Adventures), Chris (Dr. McNinja), Kate (Hark! A Vagrant), and David (Wondermark)! I'll have t-shirts and magnets for sale, and I'll even be debuting some new prints (hopefully)! I don't get to do a lot of cons, which is a shame since I always love meeting you guys. So come say hi!

Lastly:

WIN A FREE COPY OF AVP!

I posted the news yesterday - I've got 5 copies of the Aliens vs. Predator video game to give away in a new contest - your choice of console (PS3 or Xbox 360)! Entering for your shot to win is a piece o' cake!

Good luck!

Win a copy of the AvP game!

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:24:54 GMT

WIN A COPY OF AVP!

Contest time! This one's a biggie. Sega's given me 5 copies of the Aliens vs. Predator video game to give away - your choice of console (PS3 or Xbox 360... sorry, PC gamers)! Yo that's a $59.99 value each.

All you gotta do is choose one of the following two options (and do it up to 3 times over the course of the contest):

Option 1: Twitter
First, follow me at @bernieh. Then, post a link to your favorite episode of aLp, and include this hashtag and link at the end:

#AvP http://j.mp/freecopyofAvP

So, here's an example of a valid tweet:

My favorite aLp episode! http://alienlovespredator.com/2010/01/19/youre-so-white/ #AvP http://j.mp/freecopyofAvP

Option 2: Facebook
First, become a fan at the aLp Facebook page. Then on that page, click on the "Reviews" tab, click on one of the stars (1-5), paste a link to your favorite episode of aLp, and include this link at the end:

http://j.mp/freecopyofAvP

So, here's an example of a valid post:

My favorite aLp episode! http://alienlovespredator.com/2010/01/19/youre-so-white/ http://j.mp/freecopyofAvP

Enter up to 3 times...

The contest'll run until Friday, April 9. It's split up into 3 segments:

- Tue, 3/30 - Fri, 4/2
- Sat, 4/3 - Tue, 4/6
- Wed, 4/7 - Fri, 4/9

During each segment you can execute one of the above two options to enter (if you do both during the same segment, it'll count as only one entry). At the end of the contest the 5 winners will be chosen from the entries at random, so the more times you enter, the better chance you have of winning (up to 3 -- 1 per segment).

Have fun, good luck and thanks!

Also don't forget to check out the review of the game I did for Comics Alliance.

Disclaimer: I had a few reservations about using a contest to up my Twitter followers n' all that, but some friends have been telling me to just go ahead with it. aLp's a business and a brand, and it goes with the territory. A PR buddy of mine also suggested it so that's my other excuse. Hope that's cool!