RIGHT so here's what's going on

RIGHT so here's what's going on. It's simple really, and pretty much goes without saying: there's just been no time for me to focus on making aLp. Believe me, I've been trying to make some time, figuring I could at least crank out a new comic here and there for the sake of updating. That's why I go so long without even an explanation - cuz I keep thinking I'm gonna update on a given week... but then that week flies by, and then the next, then the next, and suddenly it's been months without a peep and then some of you guys start spreading rumors that I've died.

So it's weird and backwards but basically I disappear for so long cuz I AM thinking about making new comics, not because I'm not. I just don't wanna keep giving you empty promises, so I just end up sayin' zip. The big problem is I'm shit at planning out what I'm gonna be able to accomplish in a given time period; it's hard for me to give y'all meaningful info when I don't even have it myself.

Anyway, I know what to say right now. I'm still gonna be too busy for the next few months to do new comics regularly, but I WILL try to do SOME. I'm just not gonna give you any false hope of some crazy renaissance from me in the near future. aLp continues to live on, sporadically. Hook yourself up to my Twitter, Facebook page, RSS, and email list, and you'll get any new comics and blog updates from me, honest injun! That's racist.

For what it's worth, I do have a good reason to stay in the comics game, at the very least. The big (secret, ooh) thing that's keeping me so flippin busy is indeed comics-related. You'll hear all about it within the next few months. So, there's that.

As always, THANK YOU, godammit, THANK YOU for caring. It's EASY to have loyal fans when you're Jeph Fuckin' Jacques and you know, you update every day with awesome comics and live-streamed drawing sessions... but when you post 3 comics a year and disappear for months at a time like me, and still have fans as dedicated as you guys? That's... that's weird, you guys should get some help.

aLp 347: New York Movie Map

(Click the image above for the high-res version)
(Order this poster from Topatoco!)

If it seems like all the movies you've ever seen take place somewhere in New York City, that's because they do. New York is where the aliens must attack, where landmarks are destroyed, where the world ends, and where good-looking people go to find other good-looking people. It's practically a law.

This is an illustrated 18"x24" map of the history of films set in New York - more specifically, all the movies I could cram into a tiny 12-square-mile chunk of Manhattan. There's exactly 91 movies on here. Can you name them all?

I'll be giving away a FREE copy of this poster to the first person who sends me the names of all the movies, numbered 1-91. AND also winning free posters will be 3 randomly selected people from the rest of the correct lists sent to me within this first week, before next Wednesday, May 11. Here's a high-res version of the map with each movie numbered from 1-91.

After a week I'll release the full list here; follow me on Twitter to make sure you catch it.

This took about 5 months of researching and watching a ton of old movies, and about 3 weeks of drawing. The best movies I watched included The Warriors (on the map), Escape from New York (on), and an old one called A Thousand Clowns (not on). The worst movie I watched was Sex and the City, holy goddamn. A big thanks to the sites On the Set of New York, The Worldwide Guide to Movie Locations, TV Tropes, and Scouting New York for their awesome info, and to my buddies Dean, Stu and Noah for their advice.

I'LL BE AT TCAF IN TORONTO THIS WEEKEND! Sitting with the rest of the Topatoco crew. Hopefully I'll have copies of the poster on hand for you! See you there, ok yes?!

So yeah, this is one of the things I've been doing since November instead of working on aLp. It hasn't kept me from doing comics per se, but it sure didn't help. I got this idea back in December and just felt like I needed to do it. Now that it's out of the way I think I can get back on the comics horse, but yeah we'll just see about that, won't we. In any case the best ways for me to keep you updated are if you follow me on that Twitter, join that aLp Facebook page, or get up on that RSS feed.

aLp 346: You Weren't Supposed to See This

This is officially the longest I've ever spent on the artwork for a single episode, ever in the history of ever.

For the record, it's Abe that enjoys videos of skateboarders crashing groin-first into poles - not me. Here are two of his favorites: OUCH, NNGGHH

You might have noticed I finally added links below to the comic to the merchandise I have for sale on Topatoco... please consider buying; I could use the support! I also have this special offer where if you order a shirt and send me your receipt, I'll send you a free fridge magnet! WOTTA DEAL! Keep in mind, if you're gonna be ordering for holiday gifts, Topatoco has these ordering deadlines.


aLp 345: Speed Dating 20

Speed Dating break! I'm off to Webcomics Weekend so gotta keep this short.

First of all, obviously, you'll notice something different about this Speed Dating strip... that's Erin, who was the first to answer this general casting call I put up a few months ago. Erin stars in this YouTube film "Jedi Girl", directed by her friend and aLp fan, Charley Brown. Check it out (disclaimer: I haven't watched it myself yet but it looks fun)!

After you get over the initial shock over the change, let me know in the comments if you like the idea of human Speed Dating dates for Abe, or not. KEEP IN MIND that for Erin and all other humans I may use in aLp, BE NICE.

p.s. In terms of the casting call, I'm only accepting females for Speed Dating at this time - other casting would be too much of a hassle right now. If you think it'd be cool to see yourself or your friend or your sister in a Speed Dating strip, drop me a line! Thanks!

aLp 344: You Can Call Me Gore

Holy hell this one took years off of my life to do. Sorry about the delay; I got the next one written actually so hopefully you'll be seeing it next week. Fingers crossed

Did Al Gore claim that he "invented the internet"?

Reminder! I'm gonna be at Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, MA, on November 6-7, along with every one of your favorite webcomic artists. Literally. Get your tickets fast before it's too late, and I'll see you there, all right!

aLp 343: Living Museum

Edit: If you're completely lost at the last panel, here. I just LOOOOOVE explaining jokes!

Hey guys! Another comic that took me forever to do! I dunno if you've ever tried rendering a happy, believable squirrel in high-res, but it's pretty time-consuming.

Quick reminder to please consider ordering my latest print, Abe at the Dentist. As nice as it looks on the screen, it looks TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL as a huge 17"x11" print. Thanks!!

Lastly I'm gonna be at Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, MA, on November 6-7, along with every one of your favorite webcomic artists. Literally. Get your tickets fast before it's too late, and I'll see you there, all right!

aLp 342: Abe at the Dentist


Here's a new print I made that will be available to order from TopatoCo soon! I'll also have it at SPX next weekend.

That's right, remember, I'll be lounging around at the TopatoCo table at SPX in Bethesda, MD, next weekend (Sep. 11 & 12). I'll have the new print, the If You See Something print, and some t-shirts for sale. Hope to see you there!

AND also, again, the weekend after that (Sep. 18 & 19) I'll be at Wild Pig Con in Springfield, NJ... this one's hosted by a local shop that's having a huge 50%-off sale on their comic books, so if you're a comic book fan you won't wanna miss it.

I know it seems this site's come off the rails a bit but I'm still here and more new comics are coming real soon. Promise!

Oh yeah, and I know I owe you that "alternate punchline" for the last comic. That's coming too. Blurg

aLp 341: Libraryin'

Hi! Here I am. As I said in my various blog updates, it's been a stupid-hectic time for me over the past month. Elaine left me alone with the kids for 10 days and went to Jordan. That's a country, FYI, and not another dude. Then I had to plan my folks' dual 70th birthday party, which was a bit stressful, but it did end up going great, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM AND DAD!! All along (and now still) I've been racing against a big deadline at work... so basically taking these past few weeks to focus on all that was definitely necessary. Thanks for your patience...

(In case you missed it, the morning this happened - Rocket Hits Resort on Border of Jordan and Israel - I got a text from Elaine's sister saying that everyone was fine over there, and so I didn't think twice about it. It was only when Elaine got home that she told me not only was she in Aqaba when it happened... she was at that particular "Resort". A cab driver out front was killed, but otherwise Elaine and her family were fine. It's probably a good thing she didn't tell me 'til she got home)

SO with this episode I thought I'd change things up a bit. I've actually been thinking about playing around with my layouts for a while, and I thought it'd be a good time to try it, coming out of my break. Hope you dig it. Looking at it now I see a lot that I shoulda/coulda done better, but I'll chalk it up to learning on the job; otherwise I kinda like it. Lemme know what you think!

You'll notice I also changed the font. I like it better. I didn't give much thought to the font I'd been using since I started aLp back in 2004, beyond, "it kinda looks like Berke Breathed's lettering in Bloom County". Rock solid reasoning aside, I think I finally realized it wasn't the easiest font in the world to read. Hope you like this change too.

Oh yeah and something else I wasn't exactly sure about was the punchline. Twat me on Twitter or Fan me on Facebook to see my alternate punchline for today's ep coming later today.

Last thing: I wanna give a holler to Scenes from a Multiverse, Jon Rosenberg's new daily sci-fi/geek/hilarious comic. Jon's a swell super guy and I'm loving SFAM so far. Check it out!

aLp 340: Future Shock

Imagine allll the people... sharinggg all the girls

GEEZ LOUISE this took forever to do. It's probably the episode that's taken the longest for me to finish, like, ever. Congratulations to me, still raising the bar for eating up all my time and being late. Good ol' Bill Clinton's fun to write - Abe may be horny and a bit kinky, but Bill's just a hardcore sleazebag - but man is he tough to render. He didn't show up for our scheduled shoot this week, so I had to settle for random footage of him I found on the internet!

I'm not gonna have time to do up a proper Predators review, but here's my quick impressions. Unfortunately, I thought it was pretty lame. In a nutshell, it felt like a lesser director re-made Predator, basically. There wasn't anything new. Execution aside, at least all the other A/P/AvP movies tried to bring something new to the table - underwater Aliens! Predator Takes Manhattan! I get that they were trying to go retro with this, but they went too far and just made a lame version of Predator.

I don't wanna bum you out or stop you from seeing it; obviously there's plenty of people and critics who liked it. In a complete vaccuum I would've probably liked it too. But when everyone in the world already knows what a Predator looks like and what it does, it's understandably hard to make a new movie where the characters spend half the time wondering what they're up against. Say what you want about AvP and AvP:R, but at least they were chock full of fun moments.

So what'd you think?

aLp 339: Predsploitation

Late again, jiggity jig! Power outage on my block; my kids' 5th birthday; Toy Story 3. That's all I have to say about that!

Back to the storyline next week, but for this week:


When I first heard they were making this movie, I wrote: "Honestly I’m not sure we need more movies about (I’m guessing) Predators, but I won’t be complaining, as long as it’s actually half-decent." That's still the way I feel, and whoa, it looks like it might actually be half-decent, at least according to the reviews. So even though I waited for both AvP's 1 and 2 to come out on video before I saw 'em, I'll be catching Predators tomorrow when it opens.

What about you guys? Are you pumped, or are you PUMPED? (Third option: are you not pumped?)